6th Circular Letter, August 2009

6th Circular Letter,  August 2009

Dear incredible friends, my ever so supportive and loving community!

It has been a while since I have sent out a circular mail. So this will be a rather long one.

I have been on a kind of plateau health-wise, which might just be starting to change. We were also waiting for the edited and expanded version of the monikajaeckel.com website to be ready for release. WE HAVE LAUNCHED IT! Look up www.MonikaJaeckel.com  now and you will see that much has been added!

Let me update you on what has been going on. After release from the hospital where the pain team did their tremendous job, I have been doing quite well. The pain has been pretty much under control with the morphine and other pain killers that have become my daily intake. I have had a good energy level, the medication does not affect my clarity and awareness. Although I have continued to lose weight and my muscles are getting weaker, I still take walks every day. The tumours are growing slower than expected, but they are growing.  I have started with the anthroposophist mistletoe therapy and it seems to be working well on my general system. Marieke (very bravely) gives me two injections per week. Sometimes when my spirit is strong, I overestimate my energy and overdo it. Then I get crisis days with shivers and a lot of sweating and my whole energy system goes into tilt. That’s when I have to realise and accept how fragile I have become.

What has been causing the most discomfort (and painful nights) is that my bowels have been affected by the operation, radiation and the pain medication and often start cramping. I have to be very careful what I eat. And often we don’t really understand what I ate “wrong”. It is hard to not lose more weight (and I really mustn’t anymore), when you are afraid that eating will cause you pain. When I stay very aware, however, and follow my intuition on what to eat and how much to eat, and when to stop and not to gobble, but to take time and eat in peace and harmony, it seems to be ok. So I have been being very good at that lately, but it doesn’t always work. The good news is, that champagne does not bother my bowels at all.

I am still struggling with the Dutch health care system, but also there am relaxing more and more into the given. I have had a second radiation of my left shoulder, which has reduced the pain, but it has not gone, so we might have to raise the morphine levels, which have been pretty much stable in the last two months.

We have been enjoying a very lovely summer in the Netherlands, most days are “good days”, we spend as much time as possible in our office by the sea in Zandvoort, but our neighbourhood at our Amsterdam home in the Lindengracht is also absolutely gorgeous and we enjoy taking strolls there as well.

There has been a constant stream of “Monicare” friends visiting, from near and far, all the way from the USA, Norway and Germany as well as from down the street. They take care of me while Marieke is at work, and often also relieve her of household chores on days she is at home. This is an incredible experience! So much love and practical support coming our way! There hasn’t been a day missed since we started this system (after my birthday in May) and we are practically booked up again till end September. I never would have dreamed to experience such friendship, such active solidarity. It is truly amazing and warms our heart!

Marieke is a marvel! She is happy to be recognised in her talents in her new job, but the other side of the medal is that they are putting her to work! Her boss is very flexible and allows her to work from home when there are no meetings, but she has quite a lot to do. And she is very conscientious in her work. Nevertheless she is shouldering everything else as well with great grace and still is the one that cheers me up with a song and dance whenever I threaten to go off the deep end. After making a few smart remarks at the owner’s meeting of our office flat in Zandvoort, she was immediately voted in as new chair of the owner’s association. She has taken it up to be alert to the building plans in our area and to write shrewd letters to the municipality and make brilliant remarks at the town hall to preserve the interests of our building (which is mainly about maintaining our great view of the sea).

We have both started reading texts on “life after death”, me more on the internet, Marieke more in books she gets from the library, and we are very inspired. For me the traditional texts, be they Buddhist or Christian, do not work so well. I find them often too fear based and they trigger patterns in me of “shoulds” and “do the right thing” (or things will not go well during death and afterwards). Generally I am dealing a lot these days with the multitude of subtle “should” messages I give to myself or take over from others. I am getting better at catching them when they arise. The texts I really find inspiring and which make my heart sing are usually channelled messages from entities that have died and report on what they have experienced after death. These tend to go a lot further than the near death accounts and they describe things you can really look forward to.

For the rest we all have been working hard on the Monika website. You will really marvel of what we have put together now. Tim, Deborah, Marieke, and I have spent hours and hours working on it and we are very proud of the result. So go to www.monikajaeckel.com and see for yourselves!

The website is a work in progress and we welcome your comments. For one, I would like to quote some of your lovely responses to my circular e mails on the website. To simplify things I have copied the quotes I would like to put on the website below and ask you IF YOU DO NOT agree to be quoted to let me know. What I would have liked best is to quote all your letters, but they are simply and wonderfully too many!

But beyond that, having the website now in an interactive mode (you can post comments) can be a lovely way to keep up and expand the (world wide) communication and community that has developed around the circular letters.  I would really be thrilled if we make use of this opportunity of technology (for me websites are not that comfortable a medium, so it will be new for me, but I am up to the challenge). Many of you sort of, but not totally know what all I have been up to in my life, so it will be fun interacting more specifically on all the different levels. Of course you can also continue to write to me more privately using ‘old fashioned’ e mail.

By the way, if any of you are familiar with the wordpress website program, or know of someone, could you let me know, our little team could use some help with solving some “quirks” we haven’t managed yet.

I had asked our guests at my 60th birthday party to bring along their favourite story or anecdote they connect with me, but we didn’t get round to hearing these, as the time went so quick. My friend, Brigitte, from Munich therefore suggested,  that whoever of you would like, could send the story/anecdote in for the website instead. This of course would also apply for those of you who did not come to the birthday party. You can send in your favourite “Monika story” as well. So, all your ideas and contributions to the website are welcome!

My friend, Katrin, from Berlin has her own ghost-writing autobiographies business (you can hire her company and they will take care of your/a friend’s/relative’s biography from conducting and transcribing interviews to making a text out of them and publishing it in as many copies as you like). As a birthday present she came to Amsterdam and spent two and a half days intensively interviewing me about my life. It will still take time and quite some processing of the material, but the result we aim for will be my autobiography. This, unlike the website, will be in German.

I don’t know how long the present “good period” can still last. We need to take it day by day.

I am still getting so much continuous attention and care from you all, presents, thinking of and thinking with me, finding information for me, doing inquiries, signing up for “Monicare”, understanding me, holding me in your prayers and meditations, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Lots of love!!

Monika